Of Sexuality and Matespritship
by Seor
Summary: One-shot: Rose is awake and relatively clear-headed, for once. Kanaya is lost, but maybe she doesn't mind. Cultural differences and personal relationships are discussed and explored.


She's intelligent, and Kanaya supposes that's what makes her so damn attractive. (The flowing yellow dress helps too. She could never resist a well-designed outfit).

Her human sarcasm is infectious, probably because it is so endearing. And who wouldn't want to emanate a frighteningly rational, subtly snarky, teenage alien?

One who still happens to be drunk, no less.

Kanaya sighs. She tilts the soporific concoction towards the floor, half-distracted by the _drip drip driiip _of its purple contents and the disconcerting resemblance to the blood of a certain troll who needed a good sawing…

"I don't understand." Rose shifts on her barstool, her voice free of all but the faintest traces of a slur.

"I already explained. I have no idea why your experiments don't affect me, while your sugar apocalyptic drinks unhinge the minds of highly-emotional and susceptible trolls."

"Not that. I don't understand why I like you."

Kanaya's heart flips. (The fact that she calls it a heart just goes to say how far gone she is. Not that she minds. Too much). She considers frying her think pan with the purple acid, but instead settles for a hopefully noncommittal, "Oh?".

"I mean, I've never actually liked anyone in a romantic sense, human or troll. I always assumed that when I did, it would be to, at, with a guy, you know? Not that there was ever anything wrong with anything else, I never gave too much thought to any of this. Not for myself anyway. It was more interesting to pry apart other people's psyches and drama, not that my friends ever went through much of that. We'd never even met, face to face. And then Karkat with his shipping diagrams, it wasn't like me and Jade could ever propagate the human race together, and Dave is my brother and I'm not so progressive that I'd consider that."

Kanaya's head is spinning now, and she furtively checks to make sure she hasn't ingested anything remotely soporific.

"I'm not sure I understand."

"What I'm trying to say, I think, if I can remember properly…" _Please don't fall asleep again, please don't fall asleep, please don't fall asleep. _"I didn't realize until now. Shit. Kanaya. Oh my gods."

"Yes?"

"I might be bisexual?"

"…"

"Or lesbian. You're a lesbian, aren't you?"

"What is a lesbian?"

Rose facepalms, leaning back so that her stool rests on its two hind legs. Kanaya tries not to gulp.

"I keep underestimating the power of laboratorically-mixed chemicals. Is that even a word? Laboratorically?"

This human.

"Of course trolls don't have the same concepts of sexuality. Technically, you're all bisexual, aren't you? Or, well, pansexual. Which makes me possibly pansexual as well. You are aliens after all."

"Relatively speaking, yes."

"And you and all your quadrants, none of that is gender-specific. You even have a three-way relationship that I'm sure nothing in human romance equates to apart from threesomes but I think that's getting too farfetched." Did humans generally speak so laboriously without taking a breath, or was that another Rose Lalonde thing?

"Rose."

"Yes?"

"You know how you like to point out my tendency to ramble?"

"Yes?"

"You're rambling."

"Sorry."

Rose reaches for her empty cup, but Kanaya is glad to note she does not move to refill it.

"You are saying humans have a concept for – for these things?"

"Who you like. Yeah."

"Is it limiting?"

"Not if you don't let it, I suppose. Trolls have that whole hemophobia thing. That probably dictates who you can and can't like, to some extent. Still, you can't help who you love."

Especially if they happened to be someone you've idolized and admired as much as your ancestor. Not that anyone needs to know.

"Kanaya?"

"Mm?"

"Do you suppose we're matesprits?" Kanaya doesn't know whether to facepalm or bury her face in her hands. "Hey, you're blinding me."

"Sorry," Kanaya murmurs, suddenly self-conscious. She sets her skin down a few notches.

"So?"

"Let's let you figure out your identity and human… inclinations before we move into troll territory."

"Mm."

"And figure out something else you can submerge yourself in that isn't –"

And of course she chooses that moment to fall unconscious. Kanaya gazes at her slumped form, reaching over to tuck back a loose strand of hair. It isn't long before she starts eyeing the purple liquor with longing.

Rose Lalonde really was getting to her.


End file.
